March 11, 2011
Dear Hornet,
My family has been stressing me out lately. I am told what to do with my life constantly and they do not support any of my dreams. If I don't do what they tell me, I'll get no support from them. I am told what careers I'm allowed to be, what colleges I can and cannot go to, what type of people I can associate with, etc... I feel like I'm not even living my own life. What should I do? I've tried talking to them but they overpower me and end the conversation.
From Super Stressed Teen
Dear Super Stressed Teen,
I know exactly what you are going through. I am the baby of the family and they depend on me like I am their last hope and that there are living their dreams through my life. I feel as if you should sit down with your parents and tell them that you feel uncomfortable with how they are trying to control your future and that it’s your life. Write down your thoughts so that you don’t forget any points you want to make. Don’t come at it on a foul approach but just let them know how you feel and don’t let them get you stressed and depressed because all that matters is that you graduate and live the life that you want. Your parents and family want what is best for you, so let them know that you appreciate them and all their support but that you are a young adult and you would like to start making some important decisions on your own, so that you can learn for yourself. If all else fails, remember you will be 18 soon and on your own. Don’t do anything drastic, just be yourself and make sure that they hear your voice! Good luck and let us know how it goes.
Dear Hornet,
It really wasn't my choice to come to Lincoln. I really was hoping to go somewhere different. I wanted to be around good INFLUENCED people (kids) which there are not very many here at Lincoln. I'm not planning to stay for the whole 4 years because I am going to move. But if I like it I'll stay, no offense. You guys have done an awesome job with the school... it has such awesome architecture.
Wierd Teen
Dear Weird Teen,
This feeling that you have should be discussed with your parents and if they still don’t want to switch your school then the best thing to do is to deal with it head on. You did not come to Lincoln to make friends, you came here for your education. You have the power to be influenced by those people who make negative choices around you, so don’t say we have bad influenced kids, you may just be hanging out with the wrong people. So change up your friends and theirs always people who can influence you to do the wrong thing, so don’t run from this because this is just a learning experience - so just choose wisely. By the way, you are not weird, just a normal teenage student dealing with peer pressure like all the rest of us. Keep your head up!
May 20, 2010
Dear Hornet,
I'm a bit behind in my classes, credits & g.p.a. I'm a junior, but my counselor says it's best to transfer to a charter & get into independent studies. I know if it comes down to independent studies, I won't get much done because there is less encouragement. I don't want to transfer out because I started here my freshman year and I want to graduate a hornet. What can I do to stay a hornet and graduate A.S.A.P.?
Sincerely,
Stressed Teen
There are many things you can do. For one, a charter doesn't sound bad at all. It's a quick way to get your credits up and you could always come back to graduate. But if you really don't want to go that route, you can always do "Apex". It's basically an online class you can do on any given computer. Your learning the material and gaining credits! There's a class here at Lincoln, that you can enroll in and it focuses just on that!
March 11, 2010
Dear Hornet,
I've been talking to this guy now for two months. I just recently found out that he messed around with two of my bestfriends. They all say nothing was serious, but I kind of feel bad. I really like him, but I feel uncomfortable when he is around me and my friends. When we're alone everything is fine. What should I do?
Sincerely,
A Confused Heart
This is a sticky situation. The first question I'd ask is, when did he tell you? Because if he was honest from the jump, then there is no reason for you to feel uncomfortable. Think about it this way, your friends aren't unhappy with you over it and he was honest, so maybe you're over reacting with the whole situation. If you're still feeling confused, then maybe you should talk to your friends about it and if they reassure you that there is nothing going on, then you should be able to let it go all together!
March 11, 2010
Dear Hornet,
How would I go about asking my 17 year old daughter how she is dealing with the pressures of being a young teenager in a way that she will not be defensive, but will be open to telling me the truth? Don't want to go off Mom.
Sincerely,
Worried Mom
Dear Worried Mom,
Approach your daughter by asking her how her day was. What's new, and how does she feel her life is going? Whether you have a great and open relationship with your daughter or not shouldn't matter at this point. You're basically having a regular conversation as you would do with one of your adult friends. Notice how I said ADULT, that's something all teens will respect. You treating them as if they're adults and talking to them as such.
March 11, 2010
Dear Hornet,
I am a teacher and want to know what I can do to motivate students to be successful in my class and in all of their classes?
Sincerely,
Worried Teacher
Dear Worried Teacher,
There are always a lot of ways to motivate your students, but one sure way to go about it is by being a open and honest to them. Showing them that you can be a helping hand both in the classroom as a teacher, but also have an open door policy that if they have something to share - you are there for them. Most kids don't like teachers because they don't feel they have a good relationship with them and they wont do their work. If you show them different, they'll respect you for it and do better in class!f Also, try to connect with students by finding out their likes and interests. If you do this - then you can have conversations that matter to them and try to connect it to their future and education.
March 11, 2010
Dear Hornet,
What do I do if my friends boyfriend is telling all of their personal and intimate details of their relationship to all of his friends, which one of them is my boyfriend? And he is not saying good things about her. What should I do? Thank you in advance!
Sincerely,
Forever Friend
I know personally how we all hate to hear our friends personal business in a bad way, especially coming from your own boyfriend. But what you need to understand in advance is relationships are never your business unless its YOUR relationship. You don't want to interfere in their business and then you get into drama over something that never really had anything to do with you from the start. Keep yourself in the clear and try to ignore it. Students will always talk and have something to say. It is like being a celebrity - people talk about you and others - but you have to stay strong and just "fly above it!" like Kandi from Atlanta.
February 11, 2010
Dear Hornet,
I flunked my English first semester, do you have any advice on what I should do second semester?
Sincerely,
Scared Teen
Dear Scared Teen,
First things first, I think you should start off by being focused. Although first semester is over, you can still do your best the second time around, to make up for what you didn't do. There are many reasons you could have "flunked." Maybe you don't understand it, maybe your just not giving all your potential. Either way, whatever it is, you should get help! It's all about getting serious about your education! Not only is English important for your graduation requirement, but also for college.
February 11, 2010
Dear Hornet,
I am planning on going to the Green & White Ball next week - but no one has asked me. I am embarrassed of this fact. Help!
Sincerely,
Lonely Girl
Dear Lonely Girl,
First off, Calm down. How many beautiful young women do you see all the time going to the Grammy's or Awards without a date? News flash - you don't need a date to look beautiful and have a great time. Also, think about this - I know your not the only one that would show up without a date. Hang with your friends and just enjoy the evening! No one ever said that you need a date to have a good time.
February 11, 2010
Dear Hornet,
What should you do if your boyfriend is not responding to you like he was, or has in the past of your relationship?
Sincerely,
Confused Girlfriend
Dear Confused Girlfriend,
The first step is to talk to him. There are times when other things might be going on with an individual besides his “girlfriend.” Maybe his mind is stressed out on other things such as his home life, grades, work or maybe even finals. It could very well be a red flag or maybe not. There is also the possibility that's he's not as into this relationship as you are. But you shouldn't jump to conclusions without sitting down and having a talk. After that, if things don't change in a direction that you're comfortable with, maybe you should let things go and move on.
February 11, 2010
Dear Hornet,
What should you do when your parents are getting on your nerves? They have a tendency of repeating themselves and keep bugging on me for the same thing?
Bugged Out
Dear Bugged Out,
The first thing I would do is talk to my parents. There are many times when something bothers an individual but they don't speak up and that never helps. You should have a RESPECTFUL talk with your parents and tell them that you feel like they keep picking on you. Remind them that you are a young adult and that you do not need to be reminded of something more than once. But also, you must look at it from their point of view - if they keep repeating themselves over and over – there could be a good reason. Could it be that you are not listening? Maybe your room is still messy on Friday when they asked you to clean it on Monday? Maybe you need to examine the situation as an outsider before you get bugged out. Remember that one day you may be a parent, how would you like it if you asked your child to do something and they do not listen? Good luck and hang in there – you will soon be 18 and on your own and out of your parents house.
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